Wednesday, 6 December 2017

[1000+] Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas - That Will Relieve Your Stress!

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas: This Collection Will Help You To Make More Such Amazing Funny Status for Whatsapp & Facebook Profile. Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line, Funny Quotes for Whatsapp Status, Funny Whatsapp Status for Girls/Boys. Don't Forget To Share It!


Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas


501. Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can even kill you.

502. I hate it when you have to be nice to something you really want to throw a brick at.


503. My life, my rules so, keep your nose out of my business!!!

504. I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.

505. When killing them with kindness does not work, try a basketball bat. Results may vary.
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506. A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You cannot go anywhere until you change it.

507. If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

508. When I am quiet, those that do not know me look at me and think I am shy. People who know me think: OMG! She is thinking! Everyone run for your life.

509. Society is funny. They ask you to be yourself and yet they judge you.

510. I stopped fighting my inner demons. We are on the same side now.
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511. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.

512. Girls are like abstract painting, even though you cannot understand them, they are still beautiful.

513. I may look calm. But in my head I have killed you about 5 times.
514. You never know what you have until. You clean your room.

515. If you are talking about me behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

516. My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.

517. I am actually a nice person. Until you piss me off.

518. I am smiling. That alone should scare you.

519. Apparently I have an attitude. Who knew!

520. I love everybody. Some I love to be around, Some I love to avoid and others I would love to punch in the face.
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521. I do not have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem and that is not my problem.

522. I am not perfect, but I am limited edition.

523. I am having technical difficulties with my attitude today. I apologize for my inconvenience this may cause you. Avoidance is suggested for safety.

524. If you are arguing with a woman and she says “wow” you’re done abort the argument immediately.

525. Our phone fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

526. Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so; I go back to being me.

527. Just remember that if you fall I will be there to pick you up. As soon as I finish laughing.

528. It is funny, how when I am loud, people tell me to be quiet. But when I am Quiet, People ask me what is wrong with me.

529. Do not give me your attitude, unless you want mine.

530. I would like to apologize to anyone. I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get back to you shortly.
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531. God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world then he made the world round and laughed and laughed.

532. Love me or hate me I am still going to shine.

533. I am not cranky. I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.

534. An attitude is an inward thought that wiggles its way out.

535. There can be no positive result through negative attitude. Think positive. Live positive.

536. People like me great.

537. People do not like me great.

538. As long as I like myself that all that matters.

539. Keep your face towards the sunshine, you will never see the shadow.

540. I do not care what you think of me!

541. Unless you think I am awesome – in which case, you are right! Carry on.

542. Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.

543. Do not run after him who tries to avoid you!

544. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.

544. Attitude is not what you learn from school, it is part of your nature from within.

545. Grey hair is God's graffiti.

546. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

547. Some people only get called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.

548. Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.

549. You are just jealous because we act retarded in public but people still love us!

550. I love my crazy, goofy, stupid, gorgeous, weird, lame, socially challenged friends.

551. You are the friend I would feel the worst about killing in a post-apocalyptic death match for food.

552. We all have that one friend, how needs to learn how to Whisper.

553. A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.

554. Best friends are the ones who hate the same stuff.

555. If you have crazy friends, you have everything.

556. No matter how serious life gets you still going to have that one person you can be completely stupid with.

557. True friends do not judge each other, they judge other people together.

558. Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.

559. It is nice to have someone in your life, who can make you smile even when they are not around.

560. Friendship is, hiding their stuff and watching them go nuts.

561. We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I finish laughing.

562. Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.

563. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

564. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

565. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

566. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

567. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

568. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

569. No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

570. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

571. Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.

572. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

573. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

574. Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Do not try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself.

575. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

576. My fake plants died because. I did not pretend to water them.

577. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

578. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

579. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

580. We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I do not know.

581. Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, and so am I.

582. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

583. A nickel are not worth a dime anymore.

584. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

585. I am sorry, if you were right, I would agree with you.

586. As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

587. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

588. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

589. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

590. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

591. Age is something that does not matter, unless you are a cheese.

592. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

593. I can resist everything except temptation.

594. If you are going to do something tonight that you will be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

594. Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

595. If women ran the world we would not have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

596. Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

597. Life is hard. After all, it kills you.

598. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

599. If you have not got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

600. Never fight an inanimate object.

Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas


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