Wednesday, 6 December 2017 / Daily SMS Collection: Best Whatsapp Status Quotes of 2017, latest status, status
[1000+] Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line - Hand-picked By Admin!
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661. From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
662. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
663. Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
664. Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
665. Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I am kind of funny about making new friends.
666. Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
667. If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you would not sit for a month.
668. It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
669. Smoking kills. If you are killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
670. The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
671. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
672. There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
672. All generalizations are false, including this one.
673. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
674. Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.
675. What's another word for Thesaurus.
676. If two wrongs do not make a right, try three.
677. I am quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people do not get me, and some people do.
678. Be thankful we are not getting all the government we are paying for.
679. If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
680. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
681. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
682. You cannot really be strong until you see a funny side to things.
683. We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it was not for him, we would be watching television by candlelight.
684. People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
685. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
686. We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.
687. My life needs editing.
688. It's funny what memory does, is not it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail.
689. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
690. I had everything I would hope for, but I was not being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was.
691. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly did not like me for being me.
692. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
693. There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
694. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
695. Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.
696. As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
697. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves.
698. Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
699. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
700. I have an unfortunate personality.
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Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line
661. From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
662. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
663. Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
664. Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
665. Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I am kind of funny about making new friends.
666. Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
667. If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you would not sit for a month.
668. It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
669. Smoking kills. If you are killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
670. The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
671. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
672. There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
672. All generalizations are false, including this one.
673. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
674. Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.
675. What's another word for Thesaurus.
676. If two wrongs do not make a right, try three.
677. I am quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people do not get me, and some people do.
678. Be thankful we are not getting all the government we are paying for.
679. If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
680. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
681. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
682. You cannot really be strong until you see a funny side to things.
683. We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it was not for him, we would be watching television by candlelight.
684. People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
685. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
686. We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.
687. My life needs editing.
688. It's funny what memory does, is not it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail.
689. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
690. I had everything I would hope for, but I was not being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was.
691. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly did not like me for being me.
692. When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
693. There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
694. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
695. Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.
696. As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
697. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves.
698. Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
699. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
700. I have an unfortunate personality.
Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line
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Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas: This Collection Will Help You To Make More Such Amazing Funny Status for Whatsapp & Facebook Profile. Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line, Funny Quotes for Whatsapp Status, Funny Whatsapp Status for Girls/Boys. Don't Forget To Share It!
501. Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can even kill you.
502. I hate it when you have to be nice to something you really want to throw a brick at.
503. My life, my rules so, keep your nose out of my business!!!
504. I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
505. When killing them with kindness does not work, try a basketball bat. Results may vary.
506. A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You cannot go anywhere until you change it.
507. If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
508. When I am quiet, those that do not know me look at me and think I am shy. People who know me think: OMG! She is thinking! Everyone run for your life.
509. Society is funny. They ask you to be yourself and yet they judge you.
510. I stopped fighting my inner demons. We are on the same side now.
511. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.
512. Girls are like abstract painting, even though you cannot understand them, they are still beautiful.
513. I may look calm. But in my head I have killed you about 5 times.
514. You never know what you have until. You clean your room.
515. If you are talking about me behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.
516. My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
517. I am actually a nice person. Until you piss me off.
518. I am smiling. That alone should scare you.
519. Apparently I have an attitude. Who knew!
520. I love everybody. Some I love to be around, Some I love to avoid and others I would love to punch in the face.
521. I do not have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem and that is not my problem.
522. I am not perfect, but I am limited edition.
523. I am having technical difficulties with my attitude today. I apologize for my inconvenience this may cause you. Avoidance is suggested for safety.
524. If you are arguing with a woman and she says “wow” you’re done abort the argument immediately.
525. Our phone fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
526. Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so; I go back to being me.
527. Just remember that if you fall I will be there to pick you up. As soon as I finish laughing.
528. It is funny, how when I am loud, people tell me to be quiet. But when I am Quiet, People ask me what is wrong with me.
529. Do not give me your attitude, unless you want mine.
530. I would like to apologize to anyone. I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get back to you shortly.
531. God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world then he made the world round and laughed and laughed.
532. Love me or hate me I am still going to shine.
533. I am not cranky. I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.
534. An attitude is an inward thought that wiggles its way out.
535. There can be no positive result through negative attitude. Think positive. Live positive.
536. People like me great.
537. People do not like me great.
538. As long as I like myself that all that matters.
539. Keep your face towards the sunshine, you will never see the shadow.
540. I do not care what you think of me!
541. Unless you think I am awesome – in which case, you are right! Carry on.
542. Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
543. Do not run after him who tries to avoid you!
544. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.
544. Attitude is not what you learn from school, it is part of your nature from within.
545. Grey hair is God's graffiti.
546. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
547. Some people only get called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.
548. Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.
549. You are just jealous because we act retarded in public but people still love us!
550. I love my crazy, goofy, stupid, gorgeous, weird, lame, socially challenged friends.
551. You are the friend I would feel the worst about killing in a post-apocalyptic death match for food.
552. We all have that one friend, how needs to learn how to Whisper.
553. A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.
554. Best friends are the ones who hate the same stuff.
555. If you have crazy friends, you have everything.
556. No matter how serious life gets you still going to have that one person you can be completely stupid with.
557. True friends do not judge each other, they judge other people together.
558. Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.
559. It is nice to have someone in your life, who can make you smile even when they are not around.
560. Friendship is, hiding their stuff and watching them go nuts.
561. We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I finish laughing.
562. Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.
563. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
564. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
565. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
566. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
567. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
568. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
569. No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
570. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
571. Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.
572. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
573. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
574. Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Do not try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself.
575. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
576. My fake plants died because. I did not pretend to water them.
577. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
578. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
579. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
580. We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I do not know.
581. Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, and so am I.
582. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
583. A nickel are not worth a dime anymore.
584. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
585. I am sorry, if you were right, I would agree with you.
586. As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
587. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
588. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
589. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
590. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
591. Age is something that does not matter, unless you are a cheese.
592. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
593. I can resist everything except temptation.
594. If you are going to do something tonight that you will be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
594. Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
595. If women ran the world we would not have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
596. Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.
597. Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
598. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
599. If you have not got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
600. Never fight an inanimate object.
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Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas
501. Your attitude may hurt me, but mine can even kill you.
502. I hate it when you have to be nice to something you really want to throw a brick at.
503. My life, my rules so, keep your nose out of my business!!!
504. I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
505. When killing them with kindness does not work, try a basketball bat. Results may vary.
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506. A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You cannot go anywhere until you change it.
507. If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
508. When I am quiet, those that do not know me look at me and think I am shy. People who know me think: OMG! She is thinking! Everyone run for your life.
509. Society is funny. They ask you to be yourself and yet they judge you.
510. I stopped fighting my inner demons. We are on the same side now.
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511. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.
512. Girls are like abstract painting, even though you cannot understand them, they are still beautiful.
513. I may look calm. But in my head I have killed you about 5 times.
514. You never know what you have until. You clean your room.
515. If you are talking about me behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.
516. My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
517. I am actually a nice person. Until you piss me off.
518. I am smiling. That alone should scare you.
519. Apparently I have an attitude. Who knew!
520. I love everybody. Some I love to be around, Some I love to avoid and others I would love to punch in the face.
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521. I do not have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem and that is not my problem.
522. I am not perfect, but I am limited edition.
523. I am having technical difficulties with my attitude today. I apologize for my inconvenience this may cause you. Avoidance is suggested for safety.
524. If you are arguing with a woman and she says “wow” you’re done abort the argument immediately.
525. Our phone fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
526. Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so; I go back to being me.
527. Just remember that if you fall I will be there to pick you up. As soon as I finish laughing.
528. It is funny, how when I am loud, people tell me to be quiet. But when I am Quiet, People ask me what is wrong with me.
529. Do not give me your attitude, unless you want mine.
530. I would like to apologize to anyone. I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get back to you shortly.
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531. God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world then he made the world round and laughed and laughed.
532. Love me or hate me I am still going to shine.
533. I am not cranky. I just have a violent reaction to stupid people.
534. An attitude is an inward thought that wiggles its way out.
535. There can be no positive result through negative attitude. Think positive. Live positive.
536. People like me great.
537. People do not like me great.
538. As long as I like myself that all that matters.
539. Keep your face towards the sunshine, you will never see the shadow.
540. I do not care what you think of me!
541. Unless you think I am awesome – in which case, you are right! Carry on.
542. Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
543. Do not run after him who tries to avoid you!
544. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.
544. Attitude is not what you learn from school, it is part of your nature from within.
545. Grey hair is God's graffiti.
546. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
547. Some people only get called by their nicknames. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.
548. Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.
549. You are just jealous because we act retarded in public but people still love us!
550. I love my crazy, goofy, stupid, gorgeous, weird, lame, socially challenged friends.
551. You are the friend I would feel the worst about killing in a post-apocalyptic death match for food.
552. We all have that one friend, how needs to learn how to Whisper.
553. A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.
554. Best friends are the ones who hate the same stuff.
555. If you have crazy friends, you have everything.
556. No matter how serious life gets you still going to have that one person you can be completely stupid with.
557. True friends do not judge each other, they judge other people together.
558. Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.
559. It is nice to have someone in your life, who can make you smile even when they are not around.
560. Friendship is, hiding their stuff and watching them go nuts.
561. We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I finish laughing.
562. Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.
563. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
564. To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
565. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
566. I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
567. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
568. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
569. No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
570. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
571. Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity.
572. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
573. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
574. Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Do not try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. So be yourself.
575. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
576. My fake plants died because. I did not pretend to water them.
577. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
578. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
579. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
580. We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I do not know.
581. Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, and so am I.
582. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
583. A nickel are not worth a dime anymore.
584. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
585. I am sorry, if you were right, I would agree with you.
586. As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
587. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
588. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
589. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
590. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
591. Age is something that does not matter, unless you are a cheese.
592. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
593. I can resist everything except temptation.
594. If you are going to do something tonight that you will be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
594. Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
595. If women ran the world we would not have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
596. Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.
597. Life is hard. After all, it kills you.
598. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
599. If you have not got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
600. Never fight an inanimate object.
Funny Whatsapp Status Ideas
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Status for Whatsapp Funny in English: Since You Love Our Collection So Much, We Will Keep Them Updated. But Don't Forget To Share This Collection With Your Friends To Keep This Collection Live. Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line, Funny Quotes for Whatsapp Status, Funny Whatsapp Status for Girls/Boys.
401. Time, indeed, is a sacred gift, and each day is a little life.
402. Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
403. No day should pass without something being done.
404. In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
405. One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.
406. Never think you have reached success for when you do then you start the slide down.
407. If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
408. Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
409. The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
410. Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.
411. Do not carry a grudge. While you're carrying the other guy's out dancing.
412. If a book about failures does not sell, is it a success.
413. Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
414. If I would know I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
415. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.
416. Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.
417. In a child's lunch box are a mother's thoughts.
418. A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results.
419. There is no strength in numbers when you are wrong.
420. Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
421. The ability to change one's views without losing one's seat is the mark of a great politician.
422. Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket.
423. Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.
424. You cannot expect to meet the challenges of today with yesterday's tools and expect to be in business tomorrow.
425. Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
426. Sing with the showers and dance with the flowers.
427. Problems are opportunities in work clothes.
428. I think you can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.
429. A concentrated mind will pierce a rock.
430. Humor is a great way to lighten any atmosphere, and laughing is a surefire way to brighten your outlook.
431. Just having knowledge is like having a bunch of things in the attic – sure you will use it someday but in the meantime it just clogs up space!
432. What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight of the dog.
433. Live within your harvest.
434. The answers to life's biggest questions are not found on Google.
435. We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately.
436. We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken.
437. Read a lot when you are on vacation, but nothing that has to do with your business.
438. There is no experience better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.
439. It is a funny old life man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
440. Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process.
441. If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you have not laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun.
442. You cannot stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
443. Funny, the moment you get someone else worrying, you stop worrying yourself.
444. Remember the old adage; you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
445. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
446. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.
447. Laughter has no foreign accent.
448. It is not the men in my life that counts .
449. Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
450. Life is an onion which one peels crying.
451. The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
452. Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire.
453. May your life be like toilet paper. Long and useful.
454. We did not lose the game, we just ran out of time.
455. People will sit up and take notice of you if you will sit up and take notice of what makes them sit up and take notice.
456. A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
457. I would like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
458. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
459. I do not have a lifestyle. I have a life.
460. The longer they wait, the better they like it.
461. Insults are the arguments used by those who are in the wrong.
462. Misfortune does not come with a bell on its neck.
463. The difficult thing about children is that they come with no instructions. You pretty well have to assemble them on your own.
464. The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you are still a rat.
465. Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
466. Complain a lot and people will hear you but not listen.
467. Marriage is forever. It's like cement.
468. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
469. God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them.
470. The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
471. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
472. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
473. The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example.
474. Twins are so practical. It's always nice to have a spare.
475. As you grow older, you will find that the only things you regret are the things you did not do.
476. Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
477. Young people tell you what they are doing, old people what they have done, and fools what they wish to do.
478. Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries.
479. You aren't wealthy until you have something money cannot buy.
480. To give alms is nothing unless you give thought also.
481. If you wish to live long you must be willing to grow old.
482. Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they do not have for something they do not need.
483. It are not nothing to find no starting place in the world. You just start from where you find yourself.
484. Money will not buy you happiness; but it keeps you in touch with your children.
485. Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.
486. Wrinkles are ditches that the gods have dug for our tears.
487. Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
488. Life's a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest.
489. Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
490. The only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.
491. You are not as young as you used to be. But you are not as old as you are going to be.
492. I have changed my mind. Yeah, does it work any better.
493. Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
494. Wisdom likes not chance.
495. Too many captains run the ship aground.
496. A good smile is magic pill that can make you feel good in every circumstances of life.
497. Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor.
498. There are three sides to every story: yours, his and the truth.
499. Life is the only game where the object of the game is to figure out what the rules are.
500. I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things are not what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
Related Tags: Status for Whatsapp Funny in English, Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line, Funny Quotes for Whatsapp Status, Funny Whatsapp Status for Girls/Boys.
Status for Whatsapp Funny in English
401. Time, indeed, is a sacred gift, and each day is a little life.
402. Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
403. No day should pass without something being done.
404. In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
405. One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.
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406. Never think you have reached success for when you do then you start the slide down.
407. If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
408. Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
409. The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
410. Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.
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411. Do not carry a grudge. While you're carrying the other guy's out dancing.
412. If a book about failures does not sell, is it a success.
413. Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
414. If I would know I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
415. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.
416. Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.
417. In a child's lunch box are a mother's thoughts.
418. A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results.
419. There is no strength in numbers when you are wrong.
420. Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
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421. The ability to change one's views without losing one's seat is the mark of a great politician.
422. Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket.
423. Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.
424. You cannot expect to meet the challenges of today with yesterday's tools and expect to be in business tomorrow.
425. Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
426. Sing with the showers and dance with the flowers.
427. Problems are opportunities in work clothes.
428. I think you can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.
429. A concentrated mind will pierce a rock.
430. Humor is a great way to lighten any atmosphere, and laughing is a surefire way to brighten your outlook.
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431. Just having knowledge is like having a bunch of things in the attic – sure you will use it someday but in the meantime it just clogs up space!
432. What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight of the dog.
433. Live within your harvest.
434. The answers to life's biggest questions are not found on Google.
435. We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately.
436. We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken.
437. Read a lot when you are on vacation, but nothing that has to do with your business.
438. There is no experience better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.
439. It is a funny old life man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
440. Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process.
441. If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you have not laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun.
442. You cannot stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
443. Funny, the moment you get someone else worrying, you stop worrying yourself.
444. Remember the old adage; you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
445. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
446. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.
447. Laughter has no foreign accent.
448. It is not the men in my life that counts .
449. Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
450. Life is an onion which one peels crying.
451. The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
452. Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire.
453. May your life be like toilet paper. Long and useful.
454. We did not lose the game, we just ran out of time.
455. People will sit up and take notice of you if you will sit up and take notice of what makes them sit up and take notice.
456. A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
457. I would like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
458. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
459. I do not have a lifestyle. I have a life.
460. The longer they wait, the better they like it.
461. Insults are the arguments used by those who are in the wrong.
462. Misfortune does not come with a bell on its neck.
463. The difficult thing about children is that they come with no instructions. You pretty well have to assemble them on your own.
464. The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you are still a rat.
465. Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
466. Complain a lot and people will hear you but not listen.
467. Marriage is forever. It's like cement.
468. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
469. God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them.
470. The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
471. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
472. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
473. The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example.
474. Twins are so practical. It's always nice to have a spare.
475. As you grow older, you will find that the only things you regret are the things you did not do.
476. Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
477. Young people tell you what they are doing, old people what they have done, and fools what they wish to do.
478. Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries.
479. You aren't wealthy until you have something money cannot buy.
480. To give alms is nothing unless you give thought also.
481. If you wish to live long you must be willing to grow old.
482. Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they do not have for something they do not need.
483. It are not nothing to find no starting place in the world. You just start from where you find yourself.
484. Money will not buy you happiness; but it keeps you in touch with your children.
485. Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.
486. Wrinkles are ditches that the gods have dug for our tears.
487. Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
488. Life's a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest.
489. Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
490. The only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.
491. You are not as young as you used to be. But you are not as old as you are going to be.
492. I have changed my mind. Yeah, does it work any better.
493. Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
494. Wisdom likes not chance.
495. Too many captains run the ship aground.
496. A good smile is magic pill that can make you feel good in every circumstances of life.
497. Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor.
498. There are three sides to every story: yours, his and the truth.
499. Life is the only game where the object of the game is to figure out what the rules are.
500. I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things are not what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
Status for Whatsapp Funny in English
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Funny Status for Whatsapp in English: Now You Need To Pick Anyone Of These Funny Status / Funny Quotes for Your Facebook & Whatsapp Profile. Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line, Funny Quotes for Whatsapp Status, Funny Whatsapp Status for Girls/Boys.
301. When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard“, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what”.
302. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
303. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
304. I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
305. The elevator to success is out of order. You will have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
306. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
307. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.
308. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
309. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
310. If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving definitely is not for you.
311. When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration.
312. We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
313. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
314. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I have finished two bags of M and Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
315. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
316. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
317. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
318. If you do not know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
319. Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.
320. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
321. It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
322. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
323. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I could not give it up because by then I was too famous.
324. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.
325. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
326. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.
327. The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm.
328. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
329. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
330. I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
331. You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
332. Do not worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
333. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
334. I did not fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
335. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
336. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You are on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who will decide where to go.
337. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
338. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
339. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
340. Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
341. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
342. I have met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you are 20 minutes.
343. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour.
344. Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body.
345. Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover.
346. People often say that motivation does not last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily.
347. As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
348. Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny.
349. If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
350. The great thing about getting older is that you do not lose all the other ages you have been.
351. Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic … The problem was, so did her date.
352. I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.
353. By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean.
354. When science finally locates the centre of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they are not it.
355. Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.
356. Running a multimillion dollar business can feel like a piece of cake when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter.
357. I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
358. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You cannot possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
359. I have learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the ways he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
360. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
361. Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!
362. For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild.
363. A turkey never voted for an early Christmas.
364. It is funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not to become my mother, and now I am spending the second half of my life desperately hoping to become half the woman that she is.
365. Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt.
366. Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code.
367. The successful know that the road to success is always under construction; they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth.
368. Yesterday, I forgot how a friend hurt my feelings. Today, I forgot what I did to make him mad.
369. Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it's not easy.
370. Life is short. Eat dessert first.
371. When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial expressions turn sympathetic, as if you have just disclosed a serious medical issue.
372. Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms.
373. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
374. It is a funny thing about life you get back what you put into it.
375. An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it.
376. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
377. A boat does not go forward if each is rowing his own way.
378. The only time I do not have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.
379. You will be richer in the end than a prince, if you are a friend.
380. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
381. When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain do not complain about the mud!
382. Do not judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.
383. Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
384. Make allowances for your friends' imperfections as readily as you do for your own.
385. The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it.
386. Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor's degree And women gets her master's degree.
387. Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
388. So, if you feel a smile begin, do not leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!
389. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
390. A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
391. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.
392. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.
393. To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant in the field of battle, rather than a spectator.
394. A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.
395. To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.
396. Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.
397. If you do not understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.
398.
Wisdom has two parts:
1. Having a lot to say.
2. Not saying it.
399. He has a heart of gold - only harder.
400. Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone.
Related Tags: Funny Status for Whatsapp in English, Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in One Line, Funny Quotes for Whatsapp Status, Funny Whatsapp Status for Girls/Boys.
Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
301. When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard“, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what”.
302. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
303. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
304. I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
305. The elevator to success is out of order. You will have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
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306. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
307. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.
308. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
309. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
310. If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving definitely is not for you.
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311. When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration.
312. We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
313. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
314. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I have finished two bags of M and Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
315. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
316. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
317. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
318. If you do not know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
319. Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.
320. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
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321. It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
322. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
323. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I could not give it up because by then I was too famous.
324. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.
325. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
326. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.
327. The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm.
328. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
329. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
330. I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
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331. You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
332. Do not worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
333. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
334. I did not fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
335. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
336. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You are on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who will decide where to go.
337. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
338. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
339. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
340. Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
341. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
342. I have met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you are 20 minutes.
343. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour.
344. Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body.
345. Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover.
346. People often say that motivation does not last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily.
347. As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
348. Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny.
349. If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
350. The great thing about getting older is that you do not lose all the other ages you have been.
351. Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic … The problem was, so did her date.
352. I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.
353. By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's, I mean.
354. When science finally locates the centre of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they are not it.
355. Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.
356. Running a multimillion dollar business can feel like a piece of cake when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter.
357. I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
358. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You cannot possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
359. I have learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the ways he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
360. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
361. Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!
362. For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild.
363. A turkey never voted for an early Christmas.
364. It is funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not to become my mother, and now I am spending the second half of my life desperately hoping to become half the woman that she is.
365. Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt.
366. Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code.
367. The successful know that the road to success is always under construction; they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth.
368. Yesterday, I forgot how a friend hurt my feelings. Today, I forgot what I did to make him mad.
369. Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it's not easy.
370. Life is short. Eat dessert first.
371. When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial expressions turn sympathetic, as if you have just disclosed a serious medical issue.
372. Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms.
373. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
374. It is a funny thing about life you get back what you put into it.
375. An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it.
376. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
377. A boat does not go forward if each is rowing his own way.
378. The only time I do not have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.
379. You will be richer in the end than a prince, if you are a friend.
380. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
381. When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain do not complain about the mud!
382. Do not judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.
383. Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
384. Make allowances for your friends' imperfections as readily as you do for your own.
385. The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it.
386. Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor's degree And women gets her master's degree.
387. Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
388. So, if you feel a smile begin, do not leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!
389. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
390. A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
391. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.
392. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.
393. To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant in the field of battle, rather than a spectator.
394. A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.
395. To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.
396. Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address.
397. If you do not understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.
398.
Wisdom has two parts:
1. Having a lot to say.
2. Not saying it.
399. He has a heart of gold - only harder.
400. Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone.
Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
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Funny Whatsapp Status: We have collected the Most Funnest & Coolest WhatsApp & Facebook Status in English for you. Now share funny status with your friends.
1. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the...
2. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
3. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
4. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
5. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
6. Life is short... smile while you still have teeth.
7. If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the Girl.
8. That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
9. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.
10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
11. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
12. God is really creative, I mean...just look at me :P
13. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
14. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
15. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
16. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
17. Facebook account for sale, Friends included.
18. Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you”.
19. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
20. The winner of the rat race is still a rat.
21. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
22. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
23. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
24. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
25. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
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26. I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?
27. Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
28. There are no winners in life... only survivors.
29. Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.
30. I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
31. I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
32. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
33. By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.
34. Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.
35. After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!
36. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
37. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
38. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
39. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!
40. We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.
41. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
42. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
43. Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
44. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
45. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.
46. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
47. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
48. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
49. No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.
50. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
51. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
52. Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!
53. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
54. Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
55. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
56. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
57. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
58. God is really creative, I mean...just look at me :P
59. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours
60. I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
61. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
62. I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
63. God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.
64. Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem.
65. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
66. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.
67. That awkward moment when you realize that 'Deleting History' is more important than 'Creating History' nowadays.
68. If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the Girl.
69. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
70. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
71. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
72. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
73. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
74. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
75. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
76. life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
77. Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
78. When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn't hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
79. How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
80. Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
81. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
82. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
83. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
84. Seeing a spider is nothing. The problem is when it disappears.
85. I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
86. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
87. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
88. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
89. I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
90. I want to change my name on Facebook to “No One,” so when I try to add people, it will say, “No One wants to be your friend.”
91. Reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don’t have a girlfriend.
92. Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
93. I find it so inspiring to watch people lazier then me. I still have much to learn.
94. There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life
95. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
96. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
97. She is so fake that she should have two facebook accounts; one for each face!
98. Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
99. I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
100. I look at people sometimes and think... Really? That’s the sperm that won.
This is really unique collection in one line. We have tried our best to provide you fresh status, which you can share on whatsapp. I hope you enjoyed this collection. Share your favorite status with us in the comments...
Post your favorite funny status here. So, that we can check your funny whatsapp status ideas and we will publish it here with your name :)
Related Tags: Short Funny Whatsapp Status in English, Funny Status for Whatsapp Messages Quotes Ideas, Best Funny Status for Whatsapp.
100 Hilarious Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
1. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the...
2. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
3. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
4. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
5. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
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6. Life is short... smile while you still have teeth.
7. If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the Girl.
8. That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
9. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.
10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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11. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
12. God is really creative, I mean...just look at me :P
13. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
14. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
15. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
16. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
17. Facebook account for sale, Friends included.
18. Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you”.
19. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
20. The winner of the rat race is still a rat.
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21. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
22. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
23. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
24. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
25. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
Read More - Whatsapp Status
 |
| 100 Funny Status in English for WhatsApp & Facebook |
26. I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?
27. Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
28. There are no winners in life... only survivors.
29. Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.
30. I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.
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31. I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
32. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
33. By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.
34. Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.
35. After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF !!
36. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
37. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
38. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
39. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!
40. We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.
Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
41. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
42. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
43. Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
44. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
45. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.
46. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
47. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
48. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
49. No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.
50. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
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| 100 Funny Status in English for WhatsApp & Facebook |
51. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
52. Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!
53. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
54. Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
55. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
56. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
57. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
58. God is really creative, I mean...just look at me :P
59. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours
60. I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
Short Funny Whatsapp Status in English
61. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
62. I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
63. God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.
64. Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem.
65. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
66. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.
67. That awkward moment when you realize that 'Deleting History' is more important than 'Creating History' nowadays.
68. If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the Girl.
69. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
70. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
Short Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
71. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
72. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
73. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
74. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
75. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
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| 100 Funny Status in English for WhatsApp & Facebook |
76. life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
77. Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
78. When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn't hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
79. How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
80. Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes
81. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
82. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
83. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
84. Seeing a spider is nothing. The problem is when it disappears.
85. I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
86. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
87. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
88. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
89. I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
90. I want to change my name on Facebook to “No One,” so when I try to add people, it will say, “No One wants to be your friend.”
Best Whatsapp Status Quotes
91. Reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don’t have a girlfriend.
92. Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
93. I find it so inspiring to watch people lazier then me. I still have much to learn.
94. There’s no such thing as addiction, there’s only things that you enjoy doing more than life
95. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
96. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
97. She is so fake that she should have two facebook accounts; one for each face!
98. Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
99. I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
100. I look at people sometimes and think... Really? That’s the sperm that won.
 |
| 100 Funny Status in English for WhatsApp & Facebook |
Best Whatsapp Status in English
This is really unique collection in one line. We have tried our best to provide you fresh status, which you can share on whatsapp. I hope you enjoyed this collection. Share your favorite status with us in the comments...
Post your favorite funny status here. So, that we can check your funny whatsapp status ideas and we will publish it here with your name :)
Related Tags: Short Funny Whatsapp Status in English, Funny Status for Whatsapp Messages Quotes Ideas, Best Funny Status for Whatsapp.
Funny Whatsapp Status (Will Make You Smile and Laugh): Here is the another collection of Funny Whatsapp Status. This time I have collected a fresh collection of jokes in English.
2. I want to go on a shopping trip where I am the only one in the shopping mall and everything I want is free.
3. “Ladies first” was probably invented by a dude who enjoyed admiring women from behind.
4. So thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside. Instead of apps and how many likes you can get on a selfie.
5. When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi so that people visit more often.
6. My goal in life isn’t to become famous or powerful…it’s to make enough money to eat whatever I want.
7. My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.
8. I’m slowly becoming more unable to fit my hand into a pringles can… is this what growing up feels like?
9. Sometimes I forget how I did things without a smart phone like get directions, find recipes or have insomnia.
10. Nothing like trying to study to make you realize how cool the ceiling looks.
11. I don’t know what’s worse – getting in the shower or getting out?
12. I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
13. That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don’t want to get involved.
14. I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of food or text you all night, that means something.
15. Have you ever just looked at someone and automatically felt annoyed?
16. Diets are hard because I get hungry.
17. You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.
18. You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
19. It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a shit.
20. I trust a lot of people not to kill me every day.
21. I’m pretty sure my dogs only sit in the window and watch me leave so they know when it is safe to sit on the couch.
22. Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!
23. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
24. Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
25. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
CLICK HERE - WHATSAPP STATUS
26. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
27. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
28. God is really creative, I mean...just look at me :P
29. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours
30. I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
31. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
32. God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.
33. Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem.
34. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
35. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.
36. That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
37. If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the Girl.
38. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
39. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
40. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
41. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
42. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
43. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
44. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
45. life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
46. People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.
47. I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.
48. Car headlights should flash at the same time the horn is pressed to alert people with hearing difficulties.
49. 500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
50. When two people are arguing and one person says “You know what…” , that argument is about to get awesome!
Read More - WHATSAPP STATUS
51. We all know that one dude who’s existence just pisses us off.
52. My heart says hamburger but my jeans say salad.
53. There is no “i” in team…there is however an “i” in ‘win’, ‘achievement’, ‘prevail’, ‘triumph’, ‘first place’, ‘gold medalist’ and ‘champion’.
54. You don’t kill time, times kills you.
55. Asking if I’m hungry is like asking if I want money. The answer is always YES.
56. Life is short. Buy the damn shoes.
57. You live with what you tolerate.
58. True friends are those who have nice things to say about you behind your back.
59. Just because I find you attractive doesn’t mean I like you. You’re appealing to my eyes, not my heart or mind. It is not that deep.
60. I’m actually the meanest person when I’m stressed. I would literally yell shut up to anything that is making noise.
61. “F#%K It.” – my final thought before making most decisions.
62. Hang on, let me overthink this.
63. I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
64. 7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
65. There’s no more dangerous entity on earth than a woman with a lot on her mind and nothing to do but think.
66. Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.
67. If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
68. My boyfriend asked me for anal so I colour coordinated his sock drawer. I know what men want.
69. Some days you can’t play the music loud enough.
70. My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
71. Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
72. Behind every crazy women is a man who made her that way.
73. Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful.
74. Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.
75. Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
76. Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
77. I don’t care what people think of me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive.
78. My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
79. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
80. I will never admit to my parents that I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
81. Facebook is the refrigerator of the internet. I keep going back to it expecting something to appear that I’ll enjoy.
82. Don’t jump to confusions.
83. When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
84. “I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional
85. I’m having trouble telling if it’s killing me or making me stronger.
86. Be f#%king polite. Please.
87. Men look at a woman’s behind and think “Wow! What an ass.” Women look at a man’s face and think the very same thing.
88. Stop looking for trouble. I’m right here.
89. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
90. Sure, your prince might come. But just in case he doesn’t, God created wine.
91. Few things turn me on like good grammar.
92. No one is ever “just kidding”.
93. Aaaaand I’m already over this day.
94. Never let anyone tell you you’re too young to do something. A baby shark is still a f#%king shark.
95. I like my coffee like I like my oxygen – CONSTANT.
96. You’re ridiculous. Want to be best friends?
97. I’m happy as long as I’m not hungry.
98. I feel bad for the people who change their birthday for April Fools Day and then their mom wishes them Happy Birthday :)
99. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
100. Did anyone else get the email about them canceling school next week?
Thank you for visiting this blog. Everyone Wants to share awesome & cool lines with their friends on Whatsapp. So I have share my collection with you guys.
If you like this collection then you should visit our latest collection : Best Whatsapp Status. Which lines you use on your Whatsapp Status today?
I hope you like my collection and share this collection with your friends on Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp.
Share your Funny Whatsapp Lines with us in the comments. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress.
Related Tag: Best Funny Whatsapp Status in English, Funny Status for Whatsapp, Funny Whatsapp Status Messages Quotes, Very Funny Love Status for Whatsapp Updates.
100 Funny Whatsapp Status (Will Make You Smile and Laugh)
1. I look at people sometimes and think... Really??? That’s the sperm that won.2. I want to go on a shopping trip where I am the only one in the shopping mall and everything I want is free.
3. “Ladies first” was probably invented by a dude who enjoyed admiring women from behind.
4. So thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside. Instead of apps and how many likes you can get on a selfie.
5. When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi so that people visit more often.
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6. My goal in life isn’t to become famous or powerful…it’s to make enough money to eat whatever I want.
7. My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.
8. I’m slowly becoming more unable to fit my hand into a pringles can… is this what growing up feels like?
9. Sometimes I forget how I did things without a smart phone like get directions, find recipes or have insomnia.
10. Nothing like trying to study to make you realize how cool the ceiling looks.
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Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
11. I don’t know what’s worse – getting in the shower or getting out?
12. I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
13. That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don’t want to get involved.
14. I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of food or text you all night, that means something.
15. Have you ever just looked at someone and automatically felt annoyed?
16. Diets are hard because I get hungry.
17. You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.
18. You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
19. It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a shit.
20. I trust a lot of people not to kill me every day.
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Funny Whatsapp Status in English
21. I’m pretty sure my dogs only sit in the window and watch me leave so they know when it is safe to sit on the couch.
22. Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!
23. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
24. Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
25. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
CLICK HERE - WHATSAPP STATUS
26. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
27. Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
28. God is really creative, I mean...just look at me :P
29. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours
30. I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
Advertisements
Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
31. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.
32. God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.
33. Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem.
34. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
35. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.
36. That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.
37. If you can't Change a Girl.....Change the Girl.
38. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
39. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
40. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
Very Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
41. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
42. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
43. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.
44. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
45. life is short…smile while you still have teeth.
46. People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.
47. I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.
48. Car headlights should flash at the same time the horn is pressed to alert people with hearing difficulties.
49. 500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
50. When two people are arguing and one person says “You know what…” , that argument is about to get awesome!
Read More - WHATSAPP STATUS
Very Funny Whatsapp Status in English
51. We all know that one dude who’s existence just pisses us off.
52. My heart says hamburger but my jeans say salad.
53. There is no “i” in team…there is however an “i” in ‘win’, ‘achievement’, ‘prevail’, ‘triumph’, ‘first place’, ‘gold medalist’ and ‘champion’.
54. You don’t kill time, times kills you.
55. Asking if I’m hungry is like asking if I want money. The answer is always YES.
56. Life is short. Buy the damn shoes.
57. You live with what you tolerate.
58. True friends are those who have nice things to say about you behind your back.
59. Just because I find you attractive doesn’t mean I like you. You’re appealing to my eyes, not my heart or mind. It is not that deep.
60. I’m actually the meanest person when I’m stressed. I would literally yell shut up to anything that is making noise.
61. “F#%K It.” – my final thought before making most decisions.
Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
62. Hang on, let me overthink this.
63. I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
64. 7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
65. There’s no more dangerous entity on earth than a woman with a lot on her mind and nothing to do but think.
66. Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.
67. If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
68. My boyfriend asked me for anal so I colour coordinated his sock drawer. I know what men want.
69. Some days you can’t play the music loud enough.
70. My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
Funny Whatsapp Status in English
71. Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
72. Behind every crazy women is a man who made her that way.
73. Beautiful people are not always good, but good people are always beautiful.
74. Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.
75. Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
76. Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
77. I don’t care what people think of me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive.
78. My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
79. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
80. I will never admit to my parents that I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
Smile Funny Whatsapp Status in English
81. Facebook is the refrigerator of the internet. I keep going back to it expecting something to appear that I’ll enjoy.
82. Don’t jump to confusions.
83. When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
84. “I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional
85. I’m having trouble telling if it’s killing me or making me stronger.
86. Be f#%king polite. Please.
87. Men look at a woman’s behind and think “Wow! What an ass.” Women look at a man’s face and think the very same thing.
88. Stop looking for trouble. I’m right here.
89. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
90. Sure, your prince might come. But just in case he doesn’t, God created wine.
Best Funny Status for Whatsapp in English
91. Few things turn me on like good grammar.
92. No one is ever “just kidding”.
93. Aaaaand I’m already over this day.
94. Never let anyone tell you you’re too young to do something. A baby shark is still a f#%king shark.
95. I like my coffee like I like my oxygen – CONSTANT.
96. You’re ridiculous. Want to be best friends?
97. I’m happy as long as I’m not hungry.
98. I feel bad for the people who change their birthday for April Fools Day and then their mom wishes them Happy Birthday :)
99. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
100. Did anyone else get the email about them canceling school next week?
Best Funny Whatsapp Status in English
If you like this collection then you should visit our latest collection : Best Whatsapp Status. Which lines you use on your Whatsapp Status today?
I hope you like my collection and share this collection with your friends on Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp.
Share your Funny Whatsapp Lines with us in the comments. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress.
Related Tag: Best Funny Whatsapp Status in English, Funny Status for Whatsapp, Funny Whatsapp Status Messages Quotes, Very Funny Love Status for Whatsapp Updates.
Our most crazy collection, here is the list of 100 Crazy Funny Whatsapp Status in English for you. You can pick any of the funny crazy whatsapp status for your status bar.
2. Hey there Whatsapp is using me.
3. Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
4. You can never buy Love... But still you have to pay for it...
5. Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
6. I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
7. My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death...
8. Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
9. Save water - Drink beer!
10. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software... it's called Monday, please fix it.
11. Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
12. God is really creative, I mean just look at me :P
13. Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
14. When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be 'I left one million dollars in the...'
15. I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
16. My father always told me, find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
17. Life is too short smile while you still have teeth...
18. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
19. I'm jealous of my parents... I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs!
20. Here my dad comes on whatsapp... From now on my status would be '***no status***' or just a smiley...
21. Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
22. Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship :P
23. C.L.A.S.S - Come late and start sleeping :)
24. People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
25. Relationship Status: Looking for a FREE WiFi connection.
Click Here - Whatsapp Status
26. It may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.
27. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
28. Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
29. We are WTF generation .... WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
30. Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
31. This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.
32. WoW now I’m a graduate... Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.
33. Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…
34. Good Morning, let the stress begin...
35. Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!
36. Hakuna Matata – The great motto to live life!
37. Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
38. Eat - Sleep - Regret - Repeat.
39. Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it.
40. Move on...
41. People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.
42. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
43. It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.
44. Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable.
45. Dream as if you’ll live forever... Live as if tomorrow is last one.
46. Always remember you are UNIQUE - Just like everybody else.
47. You don’t have to like me... I am not a facebook status.
48. The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
49. Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
50. At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :)
51. Life is too short. Don't waste it removing pen drive safely.
52. Whatsapp status is loading...
53. Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
54. Happiness is when 'Last seen at' changes to 'Online' and then to 'Typing...'
55. I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as 'Free Recharge'
56. I Am Not Special, I Am Just Limited Edition!
57. I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
58. Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
59. They say we learn from our mistakes. So, I'm making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius :-B
60. Waiting for Wi-Fi Network...
61. Sleep till you’re hungry... Eat till you’re sleepy.
62. There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian and Tuesday / Saturday
63. Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm and silent...
64. One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
65. Second chances are for losers, either we do it in first place or live it for others.
66. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
67. We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police
68. One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp and his wife added last seen feature...
69. Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
70. Jealousy = I actually care about you.
71. Once a cheater always a repeater...
72. FACT: Every piece of plastic ever made still exists. Say no to Plastic.
73. I wanna be nice but some people are so annoying.
74. I'm soo poor... I can't even pay attention
75. I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them...
76. It's cute when your crush's crush is uuh ;-)
77. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
78. if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it serious.
79. Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.
80. I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
81. Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
82. After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.
83. Act crazy, don't regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up! :)
84. I will kill you with my awesomeness...
85. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
86. The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
87. I shouldn't have to earn you time or attention, you should want to give it!
88. Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why!
89. Silence doesn't always mean you're mad... sometimes it just means you have nothing to say.
90. I'm so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me!
91. That awkward moment when the awkward moment get even more awkward!
92. Totally available! Please disturb me...
93. Nothing is lost until mom can't find it.
94. Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed.
95. Single doesn't always mean available...
96. Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more.
97. I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.
98. the best one night stand is masturbation...you get to play with p#%^y and don't have explain why later...lol
99. When I'm good, I'm very good and when I'm bad, I'm sensational!
100. I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I've got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.
I hope you have enjoyed our collection and now you can share the craziness with your friends on Facebook and Whatsapp.
This collection is really crazy and funny, which you can use on any social networking site or application. So, Enjoy!
Related Tags: Short Crazy Status in English, Best Crazy Whatsapp Status, Crazy Status for Whatsapp, Crazy Status Messages Updates, Funny Crazy Status, Status for Crazy Friends
Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English
1. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.2. Hey there Whatsapp is using me.
3. Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
4. You can never buy Love... But still you have to pay for it...
5. Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
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6. I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
7. My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death...
8. Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
9. Save water - Drink beer!
10. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software... it's called Monday, please fix it.
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11. Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
12. God is really creative, I mean just look at me :P
13. Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
14. When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be 'I left one million dollars in the...'
15. I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
16. My father always told me, find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
17. Life is too short smile while you still have teeth...
18. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
19. I'm jealous of my parents... I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs!
20. Here my dad comes on whatsapp... From now on my status would be '***no status***' or just a smiley...
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21. Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
22. Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship :P
23. C.L.A.S.S - Come late and start sleeping :)
24. People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
25. Relationship Status: Looking for a FREE WiFi connection.
Click Here - Whatsapp Status
 |
| 100 Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English |
26. It may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.
27. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
28. Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
29. We are WTF generation .... WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
30. Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
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31. This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.
32. WoW now I’m a graduate... Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.
33. Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…
34. Good Morning, let the stress begin...
35. Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!
36. Hakuna Matata – The great motto to live life!
37. Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
38. Eat - Sleep - Regret - Repeat.
39. Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it.
40. Move on...
Best Whatsapp Status in English
41. People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.
42. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
43. It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.
44. Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable.
45. Dream as if you’ll live forever... Live as if tomorrow is last one.
46. Always remember you are UNIQUE - Just like everybody else.
47. You don’t have to like me... I am not a facebook status.
48. The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
49. Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
50. At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :)
 |
| 100 Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English |
51. Life is too short. Don't waste it removing pen drive safely.
52. Whatsapp status is loading...
53. Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
54. Happiness is when 'Last seen at' changes to 'Online' and then to 'Typing...'
55. I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as 'Free Recharge'
56. I Am Not Special, I Am Just Limited Edition!
57. I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
58. Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
59. They say we learn from our mistakes. So, I'm making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius :-B
60. Waiting for Wi-Fi Network...
Best Status for Whatsapp in English
61. Sleep till you’re hungry... Eat till you’re sleepy.
62. There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian and Tuesday / Saturday
63. Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm and silent...
64. One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
65. Second chances are for losers, either we do it in first place or live it for others.
66. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
67. We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police
68. One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp and his wife added last seen feature...
69. Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
70. Jealousy = I actually care about you.
Crazy Whatsapp Status in English
71. Once a cheater always a repeater...
72. FACT: Every piece of plastic ever made still exists. Say no to Plastic.
73. I wanna be nice but some people are so annoying.
74. I'm soo poor... I can't even pay attention
75. I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them...
 |
| 100 Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English |
76. It's cute when your crush's crush is uuh ;-)
77. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
78. if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it serious.
79. Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.
80. I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
Crazy Status for Whatsapp in English
81. Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
82. After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.
83. Act crazy, don't regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up! :)
84. I will kill you with my awesomeness...
85. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
86. The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
87. I shouldn't have to earn you time or attention, you should want to give it!
88. Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why!
89. Silence doesn't always mean you're mad... sometimes it just means you have nothing to say.
90. I'm so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me!
Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English
91. That awkward moment when the awkward moment get even more awkward!
92. Totally available! Please disturb me...
93. Nothing is lost until mom can't find it.
94. Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed.
95. Single doesn't always mean available...
96. Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more.
97. I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.
98. the best one night stand is masturbation...you get to play with p#%^y and don't have explain why later...lol
99. When I'm good, I'm very good and when I'm bad, I'm sensational!
100. I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I've got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.
 |
| 100 Funny Crazy Whatsapp Status in English |
Crazy Funny Whatsapp Status in English
I hope you have enjoyed our collection and now you can share the craziness with your friends on Facebook and Whatsapp.
This collection is really crazy and funny, which you can use on any social networking site or application. So, Enjoy!
Related Tags: Short Crazy Status in English, Best Crazy Whatsapp Status, Crazy Status for Whatsapp, Crazy Status Messages Updates, Funny Crazy Status, Status for Crazy Friends
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